Responsible Sex means so much more than having protected sex

I have been waiting to meet C for months.  Finally the day was approaching.  We have talked about it for a long time and I’ve been waiting patiently.

A lot of details have been discussed.

As a Dom, I am certain he is exactly what I need.  As a person- he’s a great guy who is really easy to talk to and someone I would consider a friend since we’ve been talking for several months now.

So balancing my checkbook yesterday- I realize that my funds are low.  Very low.  Pay day is in two weeks, funding from school is in 10 days.

Hmmmmm…..  I considered my options in regards to my plans with C.  I could ask that he picks up the room this time, and I could get it next time.

I have been told by more than one friend that the guy should pay for the room.  Always.  Yeah- I don’t sign on to that.

I am an equal partner in my sex life.  This is not a date.  This isn’t my boyfriend.  (Maybe then I would feel different then.) In this case- I would need to split the room cost- or cancel.  I always agree to split the cost of a hotel room.  I have paid for them and a few times had it paid for- but I always offer to pay for at least half and I always have it.

So I emailed C today and humbly told him my situation and said we would have to cancel until when my financial situation is better.  We chatted later in the day and discussed other options.

He was interested in buying one of the best sex toys I have. He would pay for the room- and this would actually put money a decent amount of extra cash in my pocket.

I pondered this idea, but was on the fence because I’m not certain that I want to part ways with what he wanted to buy from me.

Also- it seems somewhat unethical for me to make a profit when I was sent something for review.  I thought about this a little more, but ultimately I told him that I would feel better when money was not at issue.  Not the first time.  Maybe after some time has passed, once we know there will be more times, maybe then we could alternate who pays.

If I can’t afford my half, and the agreement has always been that we would split the cost of a hotel room, then I won’t do it.  Right now, I can’t comfortably afford it.

Before I am anything, I’m a parent.  It’s my responsibility to put food on the table and make sure my family has their basic needs met.

I can’t indulge in my extra curricular activities if it’s going to interfere with my ability to pay my bills. When I’m having sex I don’t want to be thinking about how I’m going to feed my family.  I insist on paying for my part and I feel weird letting someone else pay because I can’t afford it.

C asked me why this was.  He knows how I get my the toys I review on this blog, and didn’t feel at all weird about offering to pay me for something I got for free as well as paying for the room.

He asked if it was because of the overtones about prostitution?

Hmmm- no.

I have had sex for money before.  That doesn’t bother me at all and if that WAS the situation then that would be laid out from the beginning.  I just feel like if I’m going to have this ‘hobby’ I need to be able to afford it.

That’s logical, right?

I have a friend who allows himself to drink and experiment with recreational drugs, just so long as it doesn’t effect the rest of his life.  He cannot be late for work.  He can’t call in sick.  He can’t fail any tests.  I guess in some ways I have these same controls when it comes to my sex life.

What kind of requirements do you put on yourself in order to enjoy your extracurricular (sexual) activities?