Everyone starts off as a virgin. Virginity doesn’t mean much to some and means a lot more to others. In society it has become a right of passage so to speak. Whether or not you chose to stay a virgin is entirely up to you.
What does being a virgin mean?
Being a virgin means different things to different people.
From an anatomical standpoint, being a virgin means to have one’s hymen intact. That person has never had sexual intercourse before.
For some people being a virgin is much more then just having their hymen intact. For some it is the symbol of purity, faith or self preservation.
And for some it means they just haven’t had sex yet. Some people take it more seriously than others.
Usually religion determines how you feel about being a virgin and how important it is to you. Many faiths tell you to wait until marriage. Culture too has a huge effect on this. Some women are killed if they are not pure before marriage. They are considered whores or dirty.
More and more nowadays, virginity is becoming a personal choice and less of a societal concern, although the stigmas still linger.
For some people it is all about waiting until they find the right person. They may not wait until marriage, but will wait till they find a person they deeply care about.
Some of the social pressure usually comes from ones peers. Usually this is in the teenage years, some people get made fun of for being a virgin. Many teens feel the pressure to lose their virginity as fast as possible. This is usually the case for men. Some times being a virgin is regarded as a bad thing.
What happens when I lose my virginity?
What happens when you lose your virginity is the hymen breaks when the penis enters the vagina. However, it is very possible to have the hymen break without having sex, it can break from a tampon, sports, vigorous activities, etc. You are still a virgin. The actual lose of virginity is when you have sexual intercourse for the first time.
So just because a woman’s hymen isn’t intact doesn’t mean she’s not a virgin.
When the hymen breaks it is taring the thin lining of skin that acts as a barrier. When the hymen breaks the penis is able to enter the vagina.
Usually, but not always there is some bleeding from the torn hymen. This is completely normal. The amount of blood will be different for every woman. It can depend on the size of the penis, how much hymen was torn, etc.
Of course those are the physical aspects of losing your virginity. There are also some psychological aspects. It will depend on how you lost your virginity. Whether or not you willingly gave it up. If you gave it up to someone special (or used a realistic dildo), or if it was taken from you, etc. You will have to deal with the mental aspects of this. And it will be different for everyone.
If you were raped you need to see a doctor and the police as soon as possible. It was not your fault, you are the victim, but you are not powerless.
Some people wait until marriage to have sex, why?
Whether you wait until marriage to have sex is entirely up to you. This is all a personal choice and shouldn’t be decided by anyone but yourself. There is nothing wrong with you or immoral for what ever decision you make.
A lot of women wait until marriage because they view their virginity as a gift. They want to give this special gift to the person they will spend the rest of their lives with.
Waiting until marriage also comes from a religious or cultural belief that has been imprinted in the person since birth.
By waiting until marriage some people believe they will avoid disease, which is entirely possible and more likely, unless the person they are marrying has something. They also avoid pregnancy and any relationship complications that come from sex. Of course by not having sex you also have a different set of relationship problems. Which is maintaining the personal vow of virginity even when things get heated up. And your partner may want to move faster then that, which means you have a decision to make.
Why do some women have sex before marriage?
Some women chose to have sex before marriage for a number of reasons.
Some don’t view virginity as a gift or a big deal.
Some women feel comfortable giving up their virginity when they have found someone special that they care about. They don’t need to get married to have these feelings for the other person.
A lot of women want good lovers, so they want to “test drive” their man before they marry them. Sex is very important in a relationship and it can make or break you.
I wish I hadn’t lost my virginity, is there any way to get it back?
Technically speaking once you have lost your virginity there is no way to get it back.
There are things you can do. For example, if you want to feel like a virgin on your wedding night. Some doctors can put a small stitch where the hymen was. This will simulate the breaking of the hymen when you have sex and cause you to bleed a little. But that’s an option you’d have to talk to your doctor about. It certainly isn’t a real solution.
You can also use vaginal tightening creams to make it feel a little tighter.
I think everyone makes choices in life and we end up regretting them sometimes. Don’t regret the loss of your virginity or be upset about it. This is not a lingering pain you want to hang on to. I know sometimes women lose their virginity in a less then thrilling or desired way, but we can’t change the past. You are a whole person with or without your virginity.