My zombie apocalypse team

By the time you realize that zombies have eaten your neighbors, things have clearly gone too far. The neighbors have apparently not gone feral, but rather have fallen prey to the encroaching zombie hordes. All of your survival preparation and training is about to be put to the test…

This is when its time to check your survival gear inventories and make a calculated decision. Do you stay put, maximizing your food supplies and tool set, or do you grab everything worth carrying and get the hell out of there?

It is painfully clear at this point, that your neighbors did not shop at and that they are now slaves to the zombie masters

The price for their carelessness becomes clear as they shamble around their yard and gnaw, glassy-eyed on their once beloved pets.


Sure, you may be thinking to yourself, but what are the chances of a zombie outbreak Really?


zombie survival guide pdf The first thing to do is to define a zombie attack. Zombies come in many forms…. fast zombies, slow zombies, brain eating zombies, flesh eating zombies and cunningly intelligent mutant zombie biker hordes.

By the time the zombies have arrived, it doesn’t matter so much what kind they are, but rather how hungry they are and what do they want from you. Chances are, if you are in this situation, you are not going to want to give them what it is they are after. Unlike a typical intruder, they are not going to simply go away after they get what they want. Unless of course they merely want your brain.

Zombies are notoriously bad house guests. They will do things like chew on your furniture, rip the siding off of your house and frequently scatter their limbs all over your yard. The stench of zombies is particularly gruesome and all the fabrize and pine scented air fresheners in the world will not remove the smell.

In short, it is best not to invite zombies into your house, and in fact you will probably want to deter them at all costs from setting foot in your home. The fact that they may be interested in gnawing on your uncooked flesh is also a bit of an incentive to keep them at bay.

There is a strong school of thought that the best thing to do when zombies encroach on your neighborhood is to simply leave the area as rapidly as possible. It is often considered a good idea to burn down the entire region as you retreat from the scene.

The exception to the above rule, is of course, in the rare situation that zombies are not destroyed by fire. In this situation a hastily designed molotov cocktail thrown at a zombie can quickly lead to a fire hazard situation.

Zombies that are not known to be susceptible to fire will very likely just wander around, blissfully unaware that they are on fire and will do unpleasant things such as burn down most of the things around them.

Typically, this behavior also entails the zombie wandering in random directions searching for things to eat. This unpredictable behavior can be a problem if you have things like fuel tanks, wooden buildings or large forests nearby.

It is clearly true, that where there is one zombie, there will be more. Every known documentation of zombies alludes to this unsettling fact. In this situation, you will be pleased to realize that you have previously prepared your backpack gear ahead of time.

You do not want to have to spend precious time packing for an escape, you want to have your travel kit ready at a moments notice. Once your house is surrounded by your hungry neighbors who are salivating at the prospect of what a tasty snack you would make, your escape opportunities will become severely limited.

What are the odds?

zombie survival sheet In the middle of a zombie incursion, you are probably not going to be on the phone with your bookie. Even if you are, you have to consider the possibility that your bookie has already had his books cooked and may in fact be a zombie. You may have suspected this ever since he started giving odds on a zombie panic occuring to begin with…

Zombie Movies

Zombie movies always portray zombies as coming from an evil book of black magic, a super virus concocted in a laboratory, the work of an evil witch doctor or other longshot event.

What they fail to portray is that your neighbors may well in fact be zombies already. Chances are they spend between 8 and 15 hours a day watching television and spend the rest of their time doing brain-dead activities such as going to their robotic jobs and endlessly circling through the same repetitive tasks day after day, night after night. The only thing that stands between them and you is the thin veil of civilization.

When they smile, you can see their beady eyes sizing you up. Sure they seem like nice people, now, but rest assured they are eyeballing you and wondering how well marbled you are and whether its really going to be worth all of that effort to cook you.

Notice how they show their teeth when they greet you and their eyes are firmly planted forward, a certain sign of a carnivorous predator. Be certain that when the lights go out, and they’ve eaten every scrap of food in their fridge… presuming they even wait that long, that they are going to be heading in your direction. Like all predators, when the choice comes down to them or you, the decision will come quite naturally.


It is one thing when your neighbors turn to zombies, perhaps you can reason with them or count on your long lasting friendship to send them in other directions. This strategy is simply ineffective when dealing with the MZB.


zombie survival guide online read

MZB is an acronym for Mutant Zombie Bikers

You know the type, roaring through town wielding chainsaws, machetes and shotguns. Roaming from town to town seeking to pillage, rape, enslave and subjugate anything they encounter.

In cases of extreme food shortages, these reavers on wheels are not particularly choosy about their menus.

You will probably appear quite tasty to them. Preparation can go a long ways towards being able to evade, negotiate or defend yourself against these types.

While the movies tend to portray mutant zombie bikers as having completely lost their minds and willing to take on any opposition, it is important to remember that this breed of zombie still has some survival instincts intact.

If you are prepared to hold out and defend yourself against MZBs, you will need the right survival gear, a strong survival instinct of your own and a willingness to protect what is rightfully yours.

Unless they are truly desperate, their high mobility will usually convince them to roll past your entrenched position and find easier prey.

For this reason your survival depends on your gear and your ability to identify zombies and avoid tragic mistakes in zombie identification…

[Tweet “Your survival depends on your gear and your ability to identify zombies”]

Is this a zombie? Identifying the MZB

survival guide books The ability to differentiate between the MZB and other zombie attack survivors is critical. If you rely on older information such as zombie movies and out of date zombie primers, you may be led to believe that all zombies are mindless, intent on devouring your brain, are typically covered in rotting flesh or are otherwise terrible to behold, and typically travel in packs.

The MZB do not precisely fill these criteria. While they may smell bad, they are typically not reminiscent of leprosy victims. They are often cunning rather than mindless. Whether they intend to snack on your brain is open to debate, but it is likely that they have other malicious motives.

They may be terrible to behold, but that depends on your mental state and how well you have prepared for the situation. A mutant zombie biker may look like a hell’s angel on pcp or may instead closely resemble your grandmother. MZB’s frequently travel in packs, although the individual MZB may be a lone scavenger.

Strangely enough, mutant zombie bikers may or may not actually have bikes, motorcycles, beat up pick-ups or makeshift war wagons. They may well appear as unruly mobs, with few if any vehicles.

The mere potential for motorcycles is enough to classify a wide spectrum of zombies as MZB’s. Have no doubt, if you have a motorcycle and it has fuel, they will want it. They will also want any food, weapons, survival gear, and trade commodities you may have. There is a strong chance they will eyeball your daughter with lacivious intent.

MZBS are marauders

surviving zombies the apocalypse field guide Whether or not they have begun to maraud, or are just milling about waiting to join up with other zombies of this type, MZBs will quickly set about marauding when the time is right.

Unlike some zombies, the mzb may be reasoned with in some circumstances. Regardless, entering into negotiations with MZBs is quite dangerous. If the negotiations do not end up entirely favoring the MZB clan, then they will either just take what they want or simply kill you and then take what they want.

The most favorable outcome possible is likely to leave you completely stripped of supplies, possessions of value, any gear, any food and all vestiges of self-respect. It is entirely possible that you will be looked upon in the same way that they would be looking at your daughters, or they may simply be sizing you up for proper packaging for times when their food supplies run short again.

An unfavorable negotiation outcome, could result in you being used as an example to others who may resist their demands.

On the bright side, the MZB hordes frequently suffer attrition, and if you are able bodied have useful survival skills and are able to communicate in their language, you may be invited to join their mob. Initiation rituals may be non-existent or quite severe. If you choose to take this path, then you will be subject to the rule of the mob and survival may take a very tenuous path. You will also have to forsake what few shards of your humanity remain in order to be a successful MZB.


The MZB has a sense of entitlement. That sense of entitlement is frequently backed by heavy weaponry and the willingness to use that sort of hardware. They generally consider themselves as entitled to anything that crosses their path, including possessions, animals and people to exploit for their amusement.

The MZB is unnaturally cunning for a zombie, and may well be experienced in dealing with resistance.

Without adequate preparation you are undoubtedly going to find yourself at their mercy, and possibly at the end of a set of crudely fashioned chopsticks. This situation is undesirable for obvious reasons. Your lands, house, property, fortress will be ransacked, pillaged or simply burnt to the ground. Your livestock, including any large dogs, will probably be eaten. If they leave you alive, you will be emotionally and possibly physically scarred for life, always fearing their return.

Where do MZB’s come from? How can I prepare myself? What survival gear do I need? Am I likely to encounter an MZB?

Packs of mutant zombie bikers have been spotted in lawless regions throughout the earth. When the rule of law falls, civilization collapses or even the economy collapses packs of MZB’s will spontaneously emerge to fill the vacuum in power.


The mzb will naturally emerge whenever there is a significant failure of centralized authority. When the interruption is temporary, such as during the New York blackouts, mzb’s emerge in their mildest form as crowds of rioters and looters. Billions of dollars of damage occured when the lights went out in NYC. When the lights came back on, the rioters melted back into the woodwork.

During longer periods of social upheaval, MZBs do not disband, and instead tend to gather around charismatic leaders, often attaching to organized gangs or paramilitary groups. The rule of the strong takes place and these tribes spontaneously swell in numbers and expand their territories.

In the most extreme cases of social disorder these factions rage violent disputes and those that are victorious emerge as warlords and possibly as eventual new leaders. This pack hierarchy is usually enforced by violence against everyone in the area that is competing for supplies or resources, or is militarily capable.

The emergence of the mutant zombie bikers

The rumbling bikes of the MZB can be heard rumbling in the distance, waiting for the moment when the system finally shows itself to be unsustainable.

This is the moment you must prepare for and the reason that was created. When people are hungry the mob mentality takes over and mutant zombie bikers emerge as realities rather than as probabilistic potentials.

One thing is certain they will want zombie oil.

Social collapse and zombie oil

Social collapses are a phenomenon of history. They have happened before to every empire. This is typically associated with being involved in a military struggle, civil war (the extreme manifestation of civil unrest), or is precipitated by economic debasement of currency and/or critical resource shortages.

Historically, the military of the current government has maintained control for as long as wealth was reasonably distributed and the government was adequately able to pay and feed its soldiers.

Currently, in the United States as well as several other world countries, conditions indicate that this status quo is under serious strain.

Resource disparity between the wealthy and the poor is greater than at any time in history.

An energy crisis is brewing which threatens to make essentials such as food and shelter unobtainable to a significant portion of the population. This is the true critical mass which has the potential to undermine a nation’s stability.

When the resource disparity has become so great that the basic needs of maslow’s hierarchy* cannot be met the societal structure typically reaches the point of collapse. Social upheaval is the primate’s way of redistributing wealth through society. When those at the top of the primate pack make it impossible to live at the base, challenges for primacy are inevitable. It is hardwired into human primate nature and this has been proven repeatedly throughout history.

Typically the reaction by the powers of authority during times of resource shortages is to tightly control the supply chains of resource distribution. This naturally causes dissent among those who do not have access to those resources. This dissent typically results in escalating forms of protest. The reaction, of course, is for the authorities to use increasingly draconian measures to protect their supply chains and punish those who they perceive as threatening their resources.

This chain of events is cyclical and escalating in nature. The more drastic the response, the more the tao moves to increased resistance, which signals a need for escalating force. This is a destructive chain of events which will escalate continuously as the feedback loop is reinforced. The ultimate result has always been a breaking point which results in a transition of power, either peacefully or more often forcefully. This is called the decline and collapse of a civilization. It has happened countless times throughout history and appears to be an inevitable result of resource pressure.

Internal triggers for this have typically been the debasement of currency, which leads to difficulties by the social underclasses in having their basic animal needs met. In roman times it was done through putting less and less silver and gold into coinage until it was worthless. In modern times this debasement is done through the elegant structure of compound interest. The result is the same. This has been proven in modern societies, when the banks collapse it is usually not long until the government or even the society itself collapses. The greater the disparity in monetary value, the harder and more dramatic the collapse becomes.

In modern America the functional currency, which is the true measure of power is literally power. Industry and the entire economy is designed on the mantra of build more, and consume more. This is ultimately driven by materials, labor and energy inputs into the system. Without these factors the society produces less and the value of its world trade capability diminishes. Without trade, inputs which feed the system are undermined and the system collapses.

The lynch-pin of this system is energy. Oil is the energy form which is easiest to harness and create industrial input from. Oil is used as a mechanism which allows resource harvesting of all types. Oil allows laborers to reach their workplaces. It is also used to propel the food growing mechanisms of modern agriculture. Food is what feeds the laborers. Machines are what harvest resources and runs the factories to feed the production cycle. Oil is the prime input. Oil is the currency which keeps the nation intact.

Unfortunately, oil is not an unlimited resource. The ability to extract it from the ground and refine it has exceeded the demand for its usage. There is more oil available, it just takes more and more resources to extract it, and less is extracted. This is a phenomenon known as Hubbert’s peak. More commonly as peak oil.

When the oil becomes scarce, growing transporting and harvesting food becomes much more expensive in terms of real capability. This is likely to cause increasing unrest as greater numbers of the population find themselves unable to meet fundamental needs.

The United States has an infrastructure based on fuel powered trucking to transport goods. The margins are evaporating and truckers strikes are a definite scenario of high probability. The resources will simply not be able to be allocated everywhere that is needed. Weak points include the food supply chain, the distribution chain and power needed for heating, electricity and factories.

The interconnected system is highly vulnerable to stress points. When Dick Cheney said “The American way of life is non-negotiable” before plunging the US into the Iraq war to secure the oil fields, he understood this concept completely. America has shown that it is willing to kill to feed itself and fuel its transport system. It is also becoming apparent that there is not enough fuel to feed the appetites of America.